so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
