I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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