she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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