oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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