and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
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