I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
