hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
