Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
