The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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