last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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