a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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