At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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