You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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