please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
