considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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