VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just found puke in my bra..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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