You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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