Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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