I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
