So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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