1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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