i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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