hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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