Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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