i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
