She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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