his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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