When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
