i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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