i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize