Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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