She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
