i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize