FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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