bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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