I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize