I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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