Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
