I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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