I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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