its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
