Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
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