if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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