so explain again why im purple
no
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
