Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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