I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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