Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
