I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
