I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
