And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
