We won't sleep together?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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