ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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