we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
