So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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