After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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