IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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