I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
