i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize